Crisis
by lemanruss96
Summary: "What?" she asked. "What does it mean?" "It means that if we didn't know better Candace, we'd say you were pregnant."
1. Chapter 1

**Well, I'm back, and hopefully with a bit more of a "serious" tone than usual. As we all know, I own nothing.**

It was a fairly standard summer day in Danville. The birds were tweeting, the sun was shining…

"Phineas! Ferb! What are you two doing?"

And Candace was busting.

Flipping up his welding mask, Phineas waved to her. "Hey Candace. We're building a medical scanner! You see, we realized that so many people around the world need medical help, but hate checkups. So we made a machine that with one scan does the work of a half hour appointment."

"That looks an awful lot like a movie projector," Candace remarked.

"Just wait until you see it in action," her brother replied. Walking out in front of it, he gave Ferb a thumbs up. Ferb returned it, then flicked a switch.

A greenish light came out of the machine, scanning Phineas. After a few seconds, a paper printed out of the device. Candace could see an X ray on the top of the page, then a brief description of Phineas such as his age and height, then a long line of text she couldn't understand.

"Isn't it amazing? Blood type, a check for cancer, and white blood cell count, all finished in thirty seconds!" Phineas proclaimed.

"Hey, Dinner Bell!" Buford walked into the yard, Baljeet in tow. "Whatcha doi-Ow!"

He rubbed his head as Isabella walked into the yard, a slingshot in hand. "Sharpshooter Badge acquired!" she said, smiling. Then turning to Buford with a less than pleased expression, she hissed "Remember what I said about stealing my catchphrase?"

"Sorry, sorry."

"So, Phineas," she said, batting her eyelashes. "What are you doing?"

"Revolutionizing the medical field," he responded. "In a single scan, it'll tell you more than you could find in a half an hour medical appointment."

"Huh," Buford grunted. "Well, we all know what Nerd Boy over here is suffering." He then grabbed the diminutive Indian's underpants, hefting him a good two feet off the ground. "A severe case of Wedgyitis!"

Baljeet crossed his arms. "That is not a real condition, Buford."

The bully shrugged, then dropped his victim to the ground. "Now how bout you give me a shot? I hate the doctor's office. They never have the new issue of Aquarium Monthly."

"Sure thing." The light came out again, this time scanning over Buford. The paper printed out, and Phineas tore it off. "Looks like you're in perfect health, Buford. But it does say you have some small back issues. You may want to start using your knees more when you lift Baljeet."

"Wow. That machine sure is neat." He then hefted Baljeet into the air (bending his knees this time), then commenced to give him a noogie.

"My turn!" Isabella piped up. The machine scanned her, and Phineas checked the printout. "Perfect health again. Hey Candace, you want a shot?"

She contemplated this a second, then grudgingly nodded. "Fine. But then you are so busted!"

Phineas shrugged. "Fair enough." The invention came on again, and Candace felt a brief tingling. Then, the paper came out and Phineas looked at it. "Huh. That's weird."

"What? What's weird? Do I have cancer? Oh my god, I have cancer!"

"No, no, it's not that. Just…just give us a second." He then called over Ferb. The two of them poured over the printout for a couple of minutes as Candace nervously bit her nails. Then, they walked back over to her.

"You see Candace, there seems to be a lot of this hormone here in your system. It must be a glitch, because otherwise, it would mean-"

"What? It would mean what?" she practically shrieked.

"It would mean that if we didn't know better, we'd say you were pregnant Candace," Ferb calmly put in.

Candace was absolutely silent for a few seconds. Then, she shot towards the driveway. "You two stay here. I…I gotta get Mom!"

"Isn't that her right in the kitchen?" Isabella asked.

"Um…well…just stay here! I'll bust you later!"

With that, she ran into the driveway and to the car she'd gotten for her sixteenth birthday. It was only a Camry, but she drove it like an Indy car to the drugstore.

After screeching to a halt in the parking lot, the distraught teen leapt out of it and ran into the store and up to the pregnancy test section. Grabbing the first test she could find, she ran up to the counter.

"That'll be three ninety-five," the woman at the front desk drawled.

Slamming down a five, Candace ran out the door. "Keep the change!" she yelled over her shoulder.

Racing back home (and probably racking up more than e few traffic violations on the way), Candace parked in the driveway and ran upstairs to the bathroom.

0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0

"What do you guys think got Candace so upset?" Phineas asked as thy finished their snacks.

"It was right after that scan said she was pregnant," Isabella recalled.

"Well, yeah, but that was just a glitch…right?" Phineas asked.

0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0

Candace stared down at the test strips. Three of them…and each one positive. Moaning, she slumped to the floor.

How could this have happened? After all, she was on the pill, and it had only happened once. Maybe this was some kind of nightmare. Yeah, that was it. It was all a bad dream, and she would wake up.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knocking on the door. "Candace, are you going to be long?" her stepfather asked. "I got in a bit of a mess at the shop, and I need to shower up."

"Uh, yeah, just, just a second," she stammered. Grabbing the test strips, she shoved them in her pockets. The box she crumpled up and shoved into the toilet, then flushed it.

Opening the door, she walked out and was greeted by the sight of her stepfather covered head to toe in soot.

"What happened to you?" she asked.

"Oh, let's just say I may have forgotten to check if an old cannon was loaded," he replied cheerfully. "Nothing a little water and soap won't handle."

Nodding, she numbly walked back to her room, where she closed the door and lay down on the bed. How on earth was she going to handle this?

0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0

**And here we are. Bit of a dramatic opening, if I do say so myself. Now just go to the little review box at the bottom and tell me what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, first off I want to thank everyone who reviewed my last chapter. Seriously, I had no idea this story would be so popular. And second off, I haven't seen the future episode yet, so I have no clue whether or not this will be canon. Probably not.**

**And as you all know, I do not own Phineas and Ferb. **

As Candace sat on her bed, she heard a small noise. Looking around her room, she saw the small blue form of Perry. Usually, she'd kick him straight out the door. But today, she picked him up and placed him on her lap.

"Hey Perry," she said. He made that platypus chattering noise.

"Ungh, what am I supposed to do?" she moaned, laying back on her bed. "I mean, I have to tell everyone, but Mom and Dad will be upset, and Jeremy…" She shook her head. "I just don't want him to hate me."

Her eyes wandered over the pictures on her wall. Jeremy's soccer team when they won the Danville championship, Jeremy and her at the movies, their double date with Coltrane and Stacy…

"Stacy!" she exclaimed, jumping up and knocking off a now annoyed platypus. "Of course! She'll know what to do!"

Grabbing her phone, she dialed up her friend. It rang twice before she picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Stacy, it's me!"

"Candace? What are your brothers doing this time? I don't see any towering creations in the yard."

"No, no, it's…it's…look, could you just please come over?"

There was a sigh on the other end of the line. "Alright, alright, just give me a minute."

It ended up taking her three minutes to get to the Flynn-Fletcher house. As soon as she knocked on the door, it swung open and Candace ran out. Grabbing her friend by the arm, she dragged her up the stairs and into her room, where she shut the door behind them.

"Okay Candace," Stacy said, crossing her arms. "What's the big deal?"

"Well, Stacy, I…I…"

"You what?"

"I…I'm pregnant."

Her friend was quiet for a few seconds. "Is it Jeremy's?"

She nodded, not trusting her voice to work.

Stacy was quiet again. "Does he know?"

Candace broke down.

"NoI'mscaredtotellhimhemighthatem ehemightneverwanttoseemeagai nandMomandDadwillbemadatmean dthey'llnevertrustme-"

"Candace! Candace!" Her friend grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her a bit. "Calm down. Deep breaths, deep breaths."

She followed the instructions, slowly taking in deep breaths and letting them back out. Finally, when her breathing was under control, she sank on to her bed and buried her face in the blankets.

"What about your family?" Stacy asked, sitting down next to Candace.

"Phineas and Ferb might know. I haven't told Mom and Dad though."

"Well, you're going to have to tell them."

"I know," she moaned. "But I know they'll be mad, and then they'll never trust me."

"Oh come on Candace! You're on the pill! They can't be mad at you for an accident!"

Candace pulled her head up out of the blankets. "Well…yeah, I guess you're right."

Moving into a sitting position next to her friend, Candace ran her hands through her hair. "What about Jeremy though? What's he going to think?"

Stacy thought about this. She opened her mouth a couple of times as though she was about to say something, but then thought better and closed it. Finally, she shook her head. "I don't know, Candace. But Jeremy's pretty cool. He'll probably be fine."

"But what if he isn't?"

"Oh for God's sake Candace, stop being so paranoid! He's not going to hate you about this. Just tell him what happened."

Candace took in a deep breath, then let it out. "Okay. I will." She smiled a bit to her friend. "Thanks Stacy. I knew I could count on you."

Her friend returned the smile. "Sure thing, Candace. Now, can I get going? Me and Coltrane have a date tonight."

"Go ahead."

0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0

"Candace, boys, Dinner!" Linda called.

"Coming Mom," Phineas replied as him and Ferb walked in from the backyard and sat down at the table.

Linda looked around as she brought in the roast beef. "Where's Candace?"

"Right here," Candace replied as she came down the stairs. She had decided to tell her family outright tonight, and was feeling some butterflies in her stomach as she went to the table and sat down.

"Ah Linda, excellent work as usual on dinner," Laurence complimented. He had cleaned up from the accident at the shop, and a single bandage on his forehead was the only sign anything had happened.

Once everyone had gotten their food, Linda looked over to Phineas and Ferb. "So, what did you boys do today?"

"Revolutionized the medical field," Phineas calmly replied.

"Aw, that's nice of you. How about you Candace? Anything interesting happen?"

Candace froze, a bite of food halfway to her mouth. She then shot up. "I…I'm gonna be sick!"

She dashed up to the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Leaning over the toilet, she moaned a bit. All the confidence she had from talking to Stacy was gone, leaving nothing but the nervous wreck she was before.

There was a gentle knocking at the door. "Candace? Honey?" Her mom poked her head in. "Is everything okay?"

"No, not really," Candace replied.

Linda walked over, patting Candace on the back. "Don't worry, Candace. I'm sure it's just a bug." Suddenly, she noticed something on the counter. "Huh. What's this receipt for?"

"Receipt?" Candace then remembered: when she was getting rid of the evidence, she'd left the receipt for the pregnancy tests on the counter! "Um, nothing Mom, here, I'll just-"

"Huh, it's for…" Her mom paused. Looking over at Candace with a stern face, she quietly asked "Candace, are you hiding something from us?"

The teen was quiet for a few seconds. Then, she burst out crying, hugging Linda. "I'm sorry Mom, I should have told you guys sooner!"

"…Candace, you're…"

Candace nodded. "Yeah, I'm pregnant." She continued crying into her mom's shoulder.

"Honey, we told you that you needed to use protection," Linda said in a voice that, although quiet, was still incredibly scary to Candace.

"I know, I did, I swear!" she blubbered. "But something went wrong, and then Phineas and Ferb's invention found out, and…"

"Shh, shh," Linda hushed, gently rocking her daughter. "It's okay Candace. If it was just an accident, there's nothing you could have done. Just calm down, then we can go tell your father and brothers and maybe see about getting a doctor's appointment."

"But…but what about Jeremy? What's he gonna do?"

Linda smiled. "Candace, Jeremy is one of the sweetest boys I've ever met. If there's anyone who won't be upset about something, it's him."

0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0

As it turned out, Laurence and the boys took it a lot better than she expected.

Laurence grinned widely. "Well, what do you know? I must say, I never did really wonder what it would be like to be a grandfather. And you Candace, I'm sure you'll be the best mother a child could ask for; you learned from the greatest after all." Linda blushed a bit at the last part.

"Well," Phineas commented. "I guess the machine was properly calibrated."

"And it appears we're going to get to be uncles," Ferb remarked.

**Alright, another chapter completed. Please, tell me what you think. Next chapter's gonna be about her revealing the big news to Jeremy. See you then!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry about the delay guys. School's a bit of a hassle, but I should be able to update a bit more over winter break. **

**Now, you should know this already, but Disney owns Phineas and Ferb. I know. They have no clue how lucky they are.**

Candace stared at her phone, the screen glowing dimly in her room. She had dialed Jeremy's number, now all she had to do was press _Call_.

"Come on, Candace," she mumbled, her finger hovering above the button. "Just press the button. Just…"

'Trouble sleeping, dear?" her mother asked, poking her head into the room.

"No," the teen replied. "Just…just trouble."

Her mom walked into her room, sitting down on the bed beside her. "Candace, honey, calm down. He's not going to be mad. And if he is, then he's not worth the trouble."

"I know, but…but…"

Her mom shushed her, taking the phone away. "Just get some rest, then call him in the morning."

Begrudgingly, Candace lay down on her bed. Maybe a bit of sleep would do her good.

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Her dreams that night were anything but peaceful. She found herself on what appeared to be a treadmill, running as fast as she could away from something.

Looking over her shoulder, she saw that something to be the giant floating baby head her brothers had built a couple of years back. No matter how fast she ran, it seemed to get closer, its mouth forming the words "Mama, mama, mama…"

Suddenly, Jeremy was standing in front of her. "Hey Candace."

"Oh, hey Jeremy. What's happening?"

His expression took on a bit of a somber tone. "Candace, I"ve been thinking, and well…it's not going to work out."

"Wha…what do you mean?"

"I mean our relationship, Candace. I just can't deal with it, what with you being pregnant and all."

"So you're…you're…"

"Yep. I'm breaking up with you, Candace. Good luck."

Slowly she sank to the ground, Jeremy fading away before her eyes. Looking over her shoulder, she saw the giant floating baby head coming closer. Her head sinking, she let it overtake her.

0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0

Candace shot up, gasping for breath. She looked at the clock on her night stand. Two a.m.

Falling back onto her mattress, she quietly sighed.

There was a gentle knocking at the door. "Yeah?" she called over. Ferb poked his head in.

"Candace, is everything quite alright?"

"No," she replied, pulling her knees up to her chest.

He walked over, sitting on the edge of her bed. "I heard you from the hall. Bad dreams?"

"Yeah. I just…God, I'm just so worried! I mean, how's Jeremy going to react? I mean, there're like three, four colleges interested in him! He might just think I'll be holding him back."

"Candace," Ferb calmly put in. "I know Jeremy. He is not one to get mad, or to drop someone because he thinks they're burdening him. He loves you Candace, even if he's too scared to admit it."

Candace looked over at Ferb. "…he…he really said that? That he loved me?"

Ferb smiled a bit. "Last winter, when we made that ice castle. He was helping me chainsaw some of the ramparts. When he saw you walk by, he sighed and said 'Man I love that girl.'"

Candace just stared at him, mouth open. Ferb got off the bed and began to walk out the door. Before he left, he turned back to her. "Don't worry, Candace. Your baby will have the best mummy and daddy a kid could ask for."

"Thanks Ferb." As he closed the door, Candace lay back down on her bed, a smile creeping across her lips.

0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0

In a tree across the street, a figure slowly removed his headphones. Candace was pregnant? And she hadn't told Jeremy yet?

A jock like Jeremy, he'd probably believe any trash a genius such as himself fed him. He had all the facts he needed. Now, just embellish a couple of things, doctor up a couple of recordings, have a chat with that cretin, and the girl of his dreams would fall straight into his arms.

0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0

At the crack of dawn, Jeremy set out from his house to the high school track. He had a full day, with laps in the morning, weights from noon until three, then hopefully enough time to go see Candace and hang out with Candace and her brothers.

As he started jogging, another teenager came up next to him. He was wearing thick glasses, a polo shirt, and had a rather ridiculous looking haircut. "Hey…Jeremy," he panted. 'Nice…day…for…a run, huh?"

Jeremy gave him a sideways glance. "Do I know you?"

"Can…can we stop?"

"Sure, I guess." The two came to a halt, Jeremy eying him rather suspiciously while the strange boy was doubled over, panting for breath. Finally regaining it, he straightened up and held out his hand.

"Name's Albert, the Truth Detector."

Jeremy thought over this a second, then nodded. "Oh yeah, you were in charge of the school newspaper. Nice work on the recycling piece."

"Ah, one of my finer works. Anyway, I have something that I really need to tell you."

"Go ahead."

"Well, you see, I was off picking up my brother from Candace's house yesterday, and well…oh, how do I put this…"

"Put what? What are you talking about?"

Albet sighed. "Well, Candace was talking to her friend. I heard a bit of it. She said how she was pregnant-"

"WHAT?" Jeremy yelled.

"Yeah, I know. Anyway, she said how you were probably going to get signed to a big soccer team. They said how if you two got married, then stayed together until you got on a team, then she could divorce you and get a bunch of alimony checks."

'N-no," Jeremy stuttered. 'There's…there's no way Candace would say that!"

Albert pulled out his phone. "Here. I had an interview with a supposed Bigfoot witness before I went there and I forgot to turn this off."

Turning up the volume, he hit the play button. There was a bit of jostling, but Jeremy could make out the voices clearly enough.

"So, Candace, you're pregnant?"

"Eyup. And I am going to be rich! Soon as Jeremy gets on a big team, I'll divorce his sorry, stupid ass, then get big alimony checks for life!"

"Wow. He is not going to see that one coming…"

Albert ended the recoding. "I'm sorry, Jeremy, but I figured you had a right to know."

"No," he mumbled, holding his head in his hands. He then looked up, fury in his eyes. The teenager then ran off, headed straight for his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend's house.

As he ran off, Albert grinned. Everything was falling exactly into place. "As it should…a be."

**And there's Chapter three. Hope you enjoy it, and write in he review box about how you enjoyed it. **


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